Haiku-nnihilate This Week

Written by: Sean Austin

Date: March 8th, 2015

Beau Monde Guitars is proud (full disclosure: author’s words, not theirs) to present a new semi-weekly column, Haiku-nnihilate This Week. Each week (or so), writer, musician and local sex symbol Sean Austin will be choosing a batch of new music releases to review in the traditional Japanese form of haiku. The haiku as we know it today (a 17 syllable poem split into 3 lines consisting of 5-7-5 respectively) was initially known as ‘hokku’, merely the opening stanza of a collaborative linked poem, or ‘renga’. Around the 17th century hokku began to appear a standalone poem; yet it is not until the late 19th century that legendary Japanese poet Masaoka Shiki, widely regarded as a master of the form, renamed hokku independent of further metrically structured writing ‘haiku’. For those unfamiliar with the form, following is a sample unknowingly recited by famed 20th century hesher, Garth Algar:

“I mean, we’re looking
down on Wayne’s basement. Only,
that’s not Wayne’s basement.”

Now, in the 21st century, revered critic and all around awesome guy Sean Austin will further propel this historically significant style of poetry into the modern consciousness by reviewing current pieces of auditory pop-culture, applying the ancient form to do so. I hope you’re all sitting down as you read this because this combination of tradition, innovation and sheer truth is guaranteed to knock even the most hardened music and poetry aficionados flat on their asses…

All That Remains – The Order of Things
Riffs are off the chain.
I don’t like the clean vocals,
but that’s just me though…

Torche – Restarter
Crushing guitar tone.
I like the clean vocals here.
I’m inconsistent.

Screaming Females – Rose Mountain
Huge leap for this band.
Best album production yet.
Melissa can shred.

Scorpions – Return to Forever
50 years a band.
Don’t break up > become “legends”,
like RHCP.

BADBADNOTGOOD and Ghostface Killah – Sour Soul
Ghostface still got it.
Hard rhymes over some fresh jazz.
Exit the trap house.

Kid Rock – First Kiss
Strong Mellencamp vibes.
At least he isn’t rapping.
NASCAR fans will like.

Dan Deacon – Gliss Riffer
Less schizophrenic.
Reminds me of Talking Heads
if they were Daft Punk.

The King Khan & BBQ Show – Bad News Boys
Garage rock doo-wop.
I thought they had broken up?
Welcome back, this rocks.

THEESatisfaction – EarthEE
Sub-Pop: great label.
THEESatisfaction: Sub-Par
Stick to the rock, guys.

Pelican – The Cliff EP
Cliff Burton was cool.
“The Cliff” here is not Burton.
‘Nuff said, skip this one.

…and just like that, this week in recorded music has been summed up in 170 syllables. If this piece was half as informative as it was fun to write then I have done my job. Be sure and check back next week for more of the good stuff. All 10 of these releases are available for purchase in stores, on iTunes, and in bootleg form out of the back of Thor’s van in the Newbridge Commons parking lot. I hope I have adequately helped educate you in your consumerist tendencies for the week. Until then, drink your milk, eat your veggies and keep on rockin’ in the free world!